On the 14th of September Mike King and I hosted the NewstalkZB show “The Nutters Club.”
We talked to Ihaka Smith about growing up in Kawerau, depression and finding his place in the world.
To listen to the audio of the show, it’s in two parts, click the links below…
I discovered something.
It hasn’t helped with my depression yet, but I’m working on it.
“Man-Up” – that dreaded phrase we are all so often given as medicine.
I was working away at the keyboard, doing submissions for a legal case I’ve got going in the High Court – horrific stuff; gang-rape of a 9 year old, back broken in two places – probably this stuff is the reason I burn out and get depressed, because the system doesn’t help her much to endure and find a life.
That said; I had some soft music going in the background – The Seekers; that fab Ozzie outfit (in my day). I vowed that my kids would never suffer the kind of physical and mental abuse I got as a kid and found that fundamental obligation was not an issue but a joy. They had a wonderful upbringing and life was just a ball with them.
While I’m typing away, suddenly “Morningtown Ride” comes on (‘train whistle blowing, makes a sleepy noise…etc”) my kids favourite song after bedtime readings – the sort of thing I never got – instead usually, beatings to cry myself to sleep with.
When I clicked away from my work, the emotion rose up and I dissolved into tears. These were tears of happy and sad. Happy knowing I gave that to my kids, but sad for me, never having experienced the same loving joy as a wee fella.
It may be just a start on a new journey – not much time to go with this cancer – but seems to me that the right way to go is not “Man Up” but “Tear Down” – validate your inner goodness and have a good cry. It’s a start.
Cheers,
Graham
PICTON